Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sick and Tired
So, today is a day I wish I wasn't a mom. Ever have those days? I'm tired of cleaning up the high chair after meals. I'm tired of kids screaming while I diaper them. I'm sick of fighting a child to go pee on the toilet! I'm sick of waking up in the middle of the night for whatever reason. I'm tired of having a little one crawl all over me. Knees in my gut, elbow in my breast, fist all over my face... I'm not a jungle gym! I'm tired of giving all the time. I'm literally being drained of all life! Then I have a 3 yr old who is constantly testing me. He seems to be impervious to anything I do to try and correct his behavior. I feel like I'm in a constant state of "grrr!" with him right now. I'm finding myself cursing a lot under my breath, hoping and praying that it doesn't come out one day! In short I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey girl. Thanks for posting, you're right, I think we all feel like this at times. I've heard it said that the days are long but the years are short. That's one thing that keeps me going on days like this. Also, I am constantly praying for the Holy Spirit and his fruit in my parenting, otherwise I would go completely crazy. Love ya, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI just re-read my comment, I didn't mean to sound hoity toity. What I meant to say is, I can def. relate, and I'm glad we have a God we can draw on it crappy times. Also was thinking more about what you said and remember that the majority of my friends have found 3 yrs old to be worse for the kids with listening than 2 yrs old and that they somehow miraculously grew out of it (most of it) when they turned 4. And I thought of another thing that helps me when I'm going through phases of down in the dumps parenting...going to hear refreshing, encouraging, funny parenting speakers. Have you heard of Tim Kimmel's Grace based parenting? he's a hoot and so encouraging. Maybe there is a video at your church library or something? Anyways...hang in there! xoxo
ReplyDelete*remembered* not remember...
ReplyDeleteI am so excited that you started this. Woman and moms need to be real with one another. I felt alone when I had the twins and was dealing with so much but when others opened up to me and I realized I wasn't alone in this, it gave me such an encouragement.
ReplyDeleteWe are all in this parenting-mommy walk together, and only other moms understand.
As for your day, sounds crappy but you get to come to chuch tonight and see me!! Tomorrow will be better!
lol...thanks Claire. Yeah, the days are long but your'e right the years are flying by!!! My baby is ONE already...I was just pg yesterday! My friend Beth is bringing me that Grace Based parenting book tonight! I'm excited, now hopefully I can just READ it and not let it collect dust! HA!
ReplyDeleteLOL...thanks Beth..you're the best! :)
ReplyDeleteAmanda, I am so right there with you! Rhea's been in this "shrieking/screaming at ear shattering pitch and volume" phase, and it gets so old so fast. Perfect example- tonight, we had to run out to Dominick's to get diapers (of course Nate bought more today but forgot to take them out of the car before he left for work) because she was poopy and I had none left. So, since she's been wanting a little more independence (i.e. not sitting in the cart on quick trips inside), I let her walk and follow me in the store. She did really well, but when we got to the baby aisle, she started looking through the sippy cup selection. When I stopped her and told her to please stop ripping them off the racks and that she could have one, oh my word... and that was nothing compared to when we were checking out and she wanted balloons and magazines and discount DVDs. The screaming and hysterical tantrum she was throwing was so loud that it was echoing! People were staring, and I'm trying to finish checking out, but with her on the floor and fighting me, it was impossible not to start drawing attention. I tapped her mouth with two of my fingers- not hard, but to draw attention to her mouth in hopes she'd quiet down- and the clerk looked at me like I was the worst mother EVER! I wasn't shouting, I wasn't getting worked up, I wasn't spanking her, but the feeling I got leaving made me think that someone- she- was going to call the police for child abuse!
ReplyDeleteTell me, is it wrong to discipline your screaming toddler in public? Is it wrong to make her think about what she's doing and how it hurts mommy's ears? Is it wrong to not allow her to lay on the floor and shriek at the top of her lungs because she wants a balloon, fifteen sippy cups, and a Barney DVD? Most of the time, she listens really well, and I know that both Rhea and Caleb are in particularly trying developmental stages, so I completely know where you're coming from. I just hate the feeling that my parenting style is being judged by external individuals who don't know me or my child's mind.
At times that I feel embarrassed and like if a situation keeps building, that I'm going to lose it, I somehow find myself staying calmer than I would normally expect myself to stay. It's strange, but I really feel some sort of calming presence coming over me, and at those moments, I think "by the grace of God go I"!
Just know that you're definitely not alone in the frustration of raising a toddler, and I'll definitely be asking you for some advice when the next one is a year and Rhea's 3! So read up, woman, and be prepared!
xoxo
Becca
LOL, yes Becca! That's awesome... not that Rhea threw a fit but just how you wrote it! lol...sorry I had to laugh. Only because I know exactly what you're feeling! I've had looks and glares b/c I've spanked Caleb and I've had thosee times where I feel like I can't spank or smack his hand (which is what we do when he uses his hands in an inappropriate way or we did that when he was younger instead of spanking...anyway) it's frustraing b/c you DO feel like someone is going to call the police or whatever. Sorry for the tantrum yesterday... and yes, we've all experienced it or WILL some day!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo I feel really bad, I have a recently new 5 year old who is pretty mature for her age I think and this morning she wanted to put on some of my clear lip gloss. I originally said no but it was a busy morning, I had a 9:00 a.m. meeting to get to and I folded. So I gave her the tube.She brought it back to me without the lid. She couldn't remember where she put it. Made me kind of mad because she has a habit of taking things and misplacing them. So I went on and on about how she needs to find the lid and it was her responsibility to return things the way they were when they were given to her etc. etc....after about 10 mins. of her looking(you could tell she was wanting to find the lid) I felt something in my pocket and there was the lid!! I must have taken the lid off before I handed it to her. I felt terrible. I had to apologize to her. It makes me sad to know that most of my day is full of moments that I don't remember doing. It made me realize how many moments are just passing by and I am not actually "there". Why does life have to be this way. Now I realize how 1 minute your rocking your new baby and what feels like moments later they are graduating high school. I also can't believe I caused her undue stress over a darn lipgloss lid!!
ReplyDeletetoo true Michelle... time zips by so quickly. It's hard to remember the important things. And I DO hate how life is like that. So busy and jam packed w/ stuff that I can't sit and fingerpaint w/ my 3 yr old or can't sit and tickle my 1 yr old. Sometimes I wish I lived on a reservation or farmland somewhere but then I realize how much time I'd spend cooking, farming, cleaning and doing the chores and stuff... guess there'd be no more time there but def less distractions!
ReplyDeleteI am sick and tired of having to share Zachary (my stepson) with his mother and grandmother (she's the worst). I am tired of having to fight with his grandmother to get school fliers from her (like for parent visit day last school year. His grandmother didn't give us the flier and she went instead of a parent...grrrrrr)!!!! I am tired of him having to spend time with his mother's boyfriend. I am tired of trying to break habits that he is allowed to do at home, but not allowed at our house(big one being disrespectful and grandma doing everything for him...I am NOT his maid). I am tired of everything being in Westchester and not closer to home (just cause I don't get home until late when I have meetings there).
ReplyDeleteBut most importantly, I am tired of having to say "good-bye" every weekend when his mother picks him up.
oh Michelle, just read this. I missed it last fall..lol...sorry! I can't imagine being a mom to him during the week and then having to say goodbye and trust that he's going to be "ok" in someone else's care!!! that's crazy! I love you sweetie and miss you too! Hang in there.
ReplyDelete